Why saying thank you changes your brain
4 min read
For a while now, I have been writing articles on all kinds of topics: how I felt about a certain event, history, mythology, travel, and many such things. It started off as an outlet, a way to express my thoughts. Keep in mind, this is something I started for myself, not expecting any kind of appreciation or anything of that sort. I mean, I hoped people would read it, but nothing more than that.
What Came Back
But soon it became something deeper, a way of challenging myself to learn more and understand more about different subjects.
So for a couple of days now, I have been posting my articles on my social media pages and sending them to my friends. What struck me is the level of appreciation I have received from the people around me. “You write well.” “This is where you can improve.” “Hey, this book is something I liked, maybe it will help you write better.”
And something about me is that I am more of an audio and visual learner. I would rather watch or hear something to learn than read it. But that is what appreciation makes you do. After hearing back from so many people, I have also started to read. I read very slow, but I am getting there.
More Than A Thank You
Now appreciation itself is a concept that a few people misunderstand. As usual, my attempt here is not to tell you what to think, but to give you my point and help you form your own opinion.
I believe appreciation is more than just words or gratitude. It is showing someone that you actually liked what they have contributed. Maybe it is music, maybe it is dance, maybe you read something interesting online. Just the act of calling that person and telling them you liked what they did, a simple gesture like complimenting their work, gives everyone a sort of motivation that cannot be put into words.
The Chemistry Of A Kind Word
Now here is the thing I did not expect. I found myself going back to those messages more than once, and each time I read them I wanted the next article to be better than the last one. I could not understand why a few lines from a few people should do that to me. So I went looking, and it turns out there is an actual answer.
More than a feeling, appreciation has an effect on brain mechanics. When someone appreciates you, your brain does not file it away as a pleasantry. It sets off a neurochemical shift: dopamine and serotonin rise, oxytocin, the one tied to trust and bonding, rises with them, and cortisol, the stress hormone, comes down. The reward centres light up and the amygdala, the part of the brain that handles fear, quietens down. This is what science tells us.
The numbers hold up as well. A study published in 2024 followed a large group of older adults and found that those who scored highest on gratitude had roughly a nine percent lower risk of dying over the next four years. A review of a hundred and forty five studies across twenty eight countries found that people who practised gratitude reported measurably lower anxiety and depression scores. And in one of the older and better known experiments on this, people who spent ten weeks simply writing down what they were grateful for came back reporting fewer physical complaints, things like headaches and fatigue, and were exercising more than the group that did not.
It Does Not Stop At The Mind
Now coming to the person. Appreciation or gratitude of any form can lower anxiety and depression, and it builds better resilience under stress, which means the person simply performs better. The body follows. Fewer physical complaints like headaches, better sleep because you are not lying awake running through everything that went wrong that day, and in some cases even better control over blood pressure.
It shows up at work too, and this part surprised me the most. Gallup found that employees who feel well recognised are about forty five percent less likely to leave after two years. Forty five percent, for something that costs nothing. We spend so much time talking about salaries and appraisals and designations, and a large part of why people stay is simply whether somebody bothered to tell them they did well. The same thing holds outside of work. Appreciation is what builds the bond between two people, and the absence of it is what slowly loosens one.
Say It Out Loud
So from today, when you see someone do a good job, maybe at work, maybe at a dance recital or a music recital, or maybe someone just showed you something you liked, tell them. Not in your head, not later. Tell them then. You are not only being polite, you are doing something to their brain chemistry, and you might be changing what they do next.
I know this because a few people did it for me, and it put a book in my hands.
The Echo
I started writing for myself, expecting nothing back. A few kind words later, I am reading books again. Think about whose work you have quietly enjoyed and never said a word about.
Echos Of My Mind
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